Leaving the Dream Job | 3 Ways to Identify Bullying and Lateral Violence

Finally got the dream job but don’t like it? Here are 3 ways to identify bullying and lateral violence on the job.

Congrats you have been offered the position. I said yes!! It was the job I wanted. It was the dream job. My course of career changed a few times at this point, but it was the direction I wanted to go. I wanted to take my career to the next level, and I did. However, what awaited me in the position was not what I expected. I was miserable. It was no longer the dream job.

During the course of my career, I found that I loved quality improvement. I liked my current job. It had its perks. I was leading people through difficult situations. I had a great amount of autonomy based on what other people had in their positions. I made big decisions for the company without having a big title. However, there was no upward mobility. The job was almost the same every day and I wanted something different.

So, I went for that job in the quality department and got it. About a month after I got there my world turned upside down. My whole team got split up and placed under different managers. My work got split between two managers. One was my direct manager and the other was a dotted line manager who thought she was my direct manager. She was a bully. I had never experienced lateral violence/bullying and wondered who were those people who did that. Come to find out I was the victim and my direct manager was being bullied at the same time and did not protect me. I was at my wits end. The experience caused me to evaluate what do I really want going forward in my career. It was a life changing experience in several ways.

Terrible Manager

It taught me a lesson about managers- Up until this time, I was very trusting of managers. I thought they would always look out for my best interest for the most part. I knew in the back of my mind that they still had to look out for themselves. However, that should also mean that they would set me up in the best position. That was not the case. I had a terrible manager. I was not put in the best position to succeed during that time. I am a believer in self reflection and there are a few things I could have done differently. I don’t put all the blame on my manager. But after discussing the situation with others, the situation was not managed properly and I didn’t know it until after I left the position. I had excellent performance reviews at that point and I left the job with a needs improvement.

Lateral violence/Bullying in the work place is real

I always thought the best of people and had not encountered lateral violence/bullying before. I was at a nursing conference speaking with some colleagues whom happen to be having a conversation about lateral violence/ bullying and it struck a nerve. I thought to myself “what they are describing I was in the thick of”. It was underhanded in so many ways. Punishment for simple mistakes, tongue lashing for work completed, intimidation in subtle ways, and speaking negatively about me to others. These are the ways I was bullied and lateral violence was very much at work in this position.

It helped me to reevaluate what I really wanted out of my career

During this time was a strong surrendering moment with the Lord. I did not want to go into something as my next move that was the same or even worse than what I was in. That meant I really needed to spend time before the Lord to hear what he wanted me to do. I had no direction at that point but I knew I needed to move on to something different. That was the moment he gave me the four pillars that I needed to focus on going forward. I discovered that I loved mentoring nurses, leadership growth, quality and nursing itself. That position was not a nursing specific position and I missed working in the nursing profession. So what the enemy meant for evil, God turned it around for my good.

There were great lessons learned in leaving my dream job; To trust but verify with managers, lateral violence/bullying is real and we need to be aware of when we are in it and there is some good that can come out of bad situations.

Feeling the struggle in your career growth &
don’t know where to start?

This Nursing Growth Starter Guide will help you: